Thursday, June 22, 2006

Phone cord twists

It's Friday afternoon, and you notice that the spiral phone cord from the handset to the phone on your desk is twisted. As your third from last official act of the week, you straighten it out. It's perfect. You go home with a Feng Shui sense of satisfaction.

You come in on Monday morning and you notice that there are twists in your cord again. Two and one half twists. Why? Did someone come in and make a call while doing pirouettes?

No.

Our research has revealed that the twists in phone cords are caused by the earth's rotation. One twist per day. You go away on a week's vacation? You end up with a highly twisted line - perhaps seven twists to be exact. Nine if you took both weekends off.

With increased wireless market penetration, this is becoming less of a factor. Therefore, due to a lower amount of cord twisting work involved, the earth's rotation should be slowed less as the number of phone cords decrease. However, old phone cords should not just be thrown away. They will outtwist their usefulness. Old phone cords should be destroyed, by fire if necessary, to help the earth maintain its rotational momentum.

Also, phone cords should be untwisted frequently, as the earth has to work harder and loses more rotational velocity as the phone cords get wound tighter and tighter.

We are studying whether the energy consumption of phone cord twisting is the real cause behind global warming. Note the lack of phone cords during the Ice Age!

Finally, we dispatched a team to New Zealand, and sure enough - the phone cords twist in the other direction in the southern hemisphere.

1 Comments:

Blogger Tiber Jumper said...

Same phenomenon seems to occur with microphone cords in my gig bag. The degree of twisting is inversely proportional to the amount of minutes I have to get to a gig to set up. I have played in the southern hemisphere yet to test the reverse twist theory but I suspect you are correct, and we only need to poll brazilian and ecuadorian musicians to find if this is indeed true.

1:06 PM  

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